What do you do?

-the better question is why?

It started out as a small curiosity, to write or type. I was curious why nine times out of ten, I go straight to my laptop to type up my thoughts, cut, paste and rearrange until I have something that feels ready to share. I’m good with this, it works well and I have no plans to alter it.

That one time out of ten, the time I grab paper and pen, it’s when I want to see the process. I want to witness and continue to see what I cross out. It’s when I’m searching the depths of my being, getting to that most vulnerable state, the messy authenticity that I’m hiding from even myself sometimes. It’s a scary place, watching it come to life on paper, the scribbles and scratches, saying the same thing in several different ways until it feels fully developed and totally me.

Typing allows me to delete, to wipe the screen of the untidiness, to get to the point quicker without going down the rabbit holes. Occasionally I need the rabbit holes.

About six months ago, I read a book that talked about developing your message; one thing you want people to know, in one short sentence. It got me thinking, made me curious, and I started fiddling around with it, I got close to something that felt pretty good, but it was lacking something. I think it was lacking the right lens or filter, the one that made the idea specifically clear to me. Have you ever heard the same thing said in a dozen different ways, when finally that twelfth way just clicked? This was like that.

There’s this one question that I dread being asked, I dread it, because I don’t know how to answer it. The question is; what do you do? The truth is, I do so many things, and I imagine no one really wants to hear them all, so I resort to respond with just one thing that I think the person asking might be interested in. It’s never felt right to me because I am not just that one thing, but I never had a bridge from that one thing, to all the others things. They are all me, they are all connected but how to communicate that connection truly eluded me.

Not too long ago I saw a post advertising an art talk sponsored by my city arts commission. The talk was the very next day and I happen to be available to attend. That never happens, I usually see the post about something interesting coming up only to realize I’ll be working out of town on the date that it is held. Just for the fact that I was in town and was available was reason enough to go. The title of the talk; “Mastering the Art of Presentation for Creatives”, I wasn’t totally clear what it was going to be about, but I was curious enough to go. Turns out, it was about using the tools of storytelling to refine your artist statement. THIS, this was exactly the filter I needed to develop the answer to the dreaded question —what do you do?

I knew storytelling tools, I took a fabulous storytelling workshop during Covid, I loved it, I learned so much, it was so thoroughly inviting. In fact, it was so amazing that I took it twice!! In case you’re looking for just such a workshop, please ask me about it. Back to this art talk, the simple premise is to start your “what” with “why”. Simple but deep and this is where paper and pen serve me well. Behind everything I do is a why, a why that was born many many years ago. Digging under layers of why, like peeling an onion, was my answer, the umbrella covering everything I do. Excavating years of exploring several creative mediums revealed where it all started, in blue ink on white paper, five pages of words came down to one simple conclusion, it started behind my camera. So many words all to find one sentence that captured the essence of everything I do and erase the angst over that oh so often asked question, “what do you do?”

Seeing it all develop, in black and white, well, in this case, blue and white, a document of the process, an actual blueprint of how I determined my why, a map of all the backroads that led to the hidden treasure, my gold, my why, my souls calling.

With arms wide open, I accept, I surrender to the why that is woven into all that I do and that always leads straight to my heart.

My Why

I often felt like I didn’t belong. I discovered in my early teens that my camera was my bridge to connection.

In everything I do, my intention is to create that space, an invitation to connect and belonging.

For fifty two weeks I’ve been writing about my “what’s”, hidden beneath the surface of my caregiving years, my many art mediums, my pet sitter life, and my quirkier curiosities. I had yet to see my own why. While I felt it, perhaps knew it on an unconscious level, I desperately needed to be able to put it into words.

The clarity I found that day at the Art Talk was a gift, and the best gifts can be shared, ask me more about it, I’m happy to share more about the speaker.

“Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.”

– Rumi

Let’s ask each other why. Why do you do that job, that kind of work or that type of art? Let’s dig deep, let’s uncover the calling to be. Let’s really get to know one another, to understand what’s underneath our -what do you do? Why do you do it?